I Am Enough

I am a dreamer. In lots of ways this is a good thing. Dreamers are creators. Dreamers are always coming up with new ideas, and new plans. The thing about me though, is I am always planning two steps ahead. If I see a mess in my home, I immediately see the work I will have to do later to clean it up when I am tired, or wanting to do something else, and so I don't wait to pick it up...I do it "now." When I am doing an activity with my son (a puzzle, coloring, dancing to his favorite songs), I am planning out new activities to do in the months ahead. If I am cooking a meal, I am planning the rest of the week's meals in my mind like a list. 

All of this is fine, but the thing that happens to me is, if things don't go according to how I had hoped, I can become very hard on myself. I can become anxious even at times. This is where God has been changing my perspective just a little bit. 

Since becoming a parent, I have had to learn (just as every new parent has), that everything changes in an instant. Life revolves around that child (or children), and hardly ever if ever, do things go according to plan...or to the "dream."  As a parent, you find that your capacity to love is boundless. As a parent you see in reality, how quickly days pass by. As a parent, you discover that life is about moments, snapshots. The little blessings become the big blessings. 

Unless I take time to conciously slow down for even 5 minutes to soak in the look on my son's face as he figures out something new, or the smell of the food I am preparing and the ways it makes me feel, or the times I watch my husband play with my son, I miss the moments, the snapshots. I miss what Jesus is saying to me in that very moment. 

Once in a while, the Lord will catch me off gaurd. Yesterday He did. Yesterday was Monday, and my little Bubba and I were tired from a big enjoyable weekend with family. I had only grocery shopping on my list of "to-do's" for the day. As I was dressing "Bubba" I began to go through my dreams as I always do...I began to run 2 steps ahead...and I began to panic. "I am too tired today to do much more than grocery shop. "

"What if I am too tired to get out the door with 'Bubba' and there is no dinner on the table tonight?" 

"I have to plan some kind of fun activity. Grocery shopping is not enough for my son's growing brain."

"I am not a good Mom today."

And then came the still small voice. The ever present help in time of need. He whispered..."I Am Enough. Let me be your "today." At the time I thought it meant that I should read Bible stories with my son, and I did, and we both enjoyed it. It wasn't until later at night, as I drifted off to sleep , that I understood what He meant. 

Jesus wanted me to slow down. Slow down the anxious thoughts. Slow down the critical words over myself. Slow down. Just be. He wanted me to take in the moments of the day I was given and recieve Him. He wanted to be enough for me. 

Do you struggle with thinking too far ahead? When was the last time you took a step back to thank Him, for all He has given, and just drink in the moment? When we truely do this, our perspective does change. Somehow, in the stillness of that inward moment, Jesus is enough, and we can better recieve the snapshots, and blessings of the day!! I pray you find all the blessings He has for you today!